You Might Be an Engineer If . . . and Other Engineering Humor

We can guess some of these pieces of engineering humor are true. Let us know how many describe your chosen career.
  • Engineering jokes, you might be an engineer if

    Bring on the Engineering Jokes!

    Here are a number of engineering jokes. Some are the “You might be an engineer if” kind, while others are actual jokes. If you have any to add to our collection, please send them along. (Image source: Despair)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    You Might Be an Engineer If . . .

    You tell people that time travel is impossible. After you tell people that time travel is impossible, minutes later you think of how you would build a time machine. (Image source: Carlos Andrés Reyes)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    Three Engineers Solving a Car Problem

    There are three engineers in a car going for a drive. The first is a mechanical engineer, the second is an electronics engineer and the third is a software engineer.

    Fortunately, the mechanical engineer is driving because the brakes fail as they are going downhill. The mechanical engineer eventually brings the car safely to a halt and gets out to examine the hydraulic systems.

    The electronics engineer gets out and checks the body computer, ABS system and the power train CAN bus.

    The software engineer stays in the car and when queried about it says that they should all just get back in the car and see if it happens again! (Image source: Your Mechanic)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    You Might Be an Engineer If . . .

    You recognize the importance of exercising your circuit breakers--and do it on the day the time changes because the clocks will be messed up anyway. (Image source: D&F Liquidators)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    Engineering Laws

    Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable, and three parts which are still under development. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget. A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection. If you can’t fix it — document it. The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman. Thanks to Facility Executive. (Image source: WellPCB.com)

  • You Might Be an Engineer If . . .

    Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory. (Image source: Unsplash)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    Top 10 Things Engineering School Didn’t Teach You

    There are at least 10 types of capacitors.Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life.Overtime pay? What overtime pay?Managers, not engineers, rule the world.Always try to fix the hardware with software.If you like junk food, caffeine, and all-nighters, go into software.Dilbert is not a comic strip, it’s a documentary.

    Thanks to Facility Executive. (Image source: nsf.gov)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    You Might Be an Engineer If . . .

    You try to explain entropy to strangers at your table during casual dinner conversation. (Image source: Tokkoro.com)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    The Engineer and the Red Rubber Ball

    A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume. The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral. The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement. The engineer looked up the model and serial number on Google and found the manufacturer’s specs. Thanks to Facility Executive. (Image source: Seeker)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    You Might Be an Engineer If . . .

    You not only know the names of the astronauts but the exact date and time of the first lunar landing (3:17 PM CDT, July 20, 1969). (Image source: Seeker)

  • engineering, engineers, engineering jokes

    The Value of an Engineer

    There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem it was having with one of its multimillion-dollar machines. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small “x” in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, “This is where your problem is.” The part was replaced, and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded with the following: “Chalk: $1. Knowing where to put it: $49,999.” Thanks to Russell Thornton. (Image source: Madison.com)

Rob Spiegel has covered automation and control for 19 years, 17 of them for Design News . Other topics he has covered include supply chain technology, alternative energy, and cyber security. For 10 years, he was owner and publisher of the food magazine Chile Pepper.

 

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